portland today with mike helt and my quest to become the fattest man on the planet

i drove down to portland this morning to hang out with my good friend mike helt. we rode bikes around portland and did a tour of all the lovely vegan joints. in my december desire to become the fattest man on the planet, i felt it was necessary to get down to the portland vegan fare.
after riding around and doing some shopping, where we spent a good amount of time getting mike suited up at macy's (great sale, great suits right now), we headed to Voodoo doughnuts. i have heard tale of this place and had to sample. the pictures tell it all. holy crap. prolly 1000 calories each. cookies and peanut butter with chocolate. then the other one was fruit loops, frosting and cake. oh god, so good.
then we headed to Sweatpea vegan bakery. i got a couple cupcakes (mint chocolate, and maple). they were good, but nothing like the doughnuts. then we went to the Hungry Tiger too. i had a couple vegan corndogs and tater tots, and vegan ceaser salad, and vegan wontons, pumpkin style. i believe this was about 5000 calories. i dont feel that good right now, but i know this was worth it. soon i will be the fattest man on the planet, and it will be another success in my long list of successes ;)